Hi. Thank you so much for taking the time to give me your advice. Gratefully, my daughter is VERY smart and was able to accept the fact that this coach was an awful coach and should never treat them like he did but she wanted to play so badly that she asked to stick it out.
We were ostrasized a bit by the coaches, parents & players but there were a few that still treated her as a friend, so it wasn't as horrible as it could have been.
The league didn't do ANYTHING about the jerk but it sounds as if that is pretty much the norm.
SHE DID GET A 2ND PLACE TROPHY out of the season, but LET ME TELL YOU WHAT THIS IDIOT DID.
We found out that my daughter could bunt like a maniac. She was awesome at it. At the end of one of the innings, they didn't have her bunt when I thought she should have but was informed that when it is going on the 3rd strike with 2 outs already you are not allowed to bunt.
Okay, so, it is the last inning, we're down one run. We have 2 outs and the girl batting has two strikes. He calls for her to bunt, betting that the ump won't catch him -- he admitted this!!!! Oh, the ump caught it IMMEDIATELY, so instead of striking out or possibly getting a hit, we lost the game right there because he tried to CHEAT!!!!
AND THEN ADMITTED IT!!!
I know I shouldn't have been surprised and really wasn't. I just felt even more justified in KNOWING he was simply an ass in general, not just as a coach.
This year I have decided we are just going to commute the 30 miles to civilization (we moved to hicksville a couple of years ago) to play. One of her friends who still lives in civilization has played on their league for several years and hasn't had any problems. It will be a bit of an added burden but these rednecks are driving me crazy on and off the field.
Sorry if you're from a small town. It's not all small towns but in this one of a pop of maybe 300, they still use the N word and talk like they never attended an english class, ever! We do live in my grandma's old house, little rent and lots of room for my daughter's animals but even that sometimes doesn't seem to be enough!
Thank you ALL again or should I say, "y'all" since I'm in Rome...I would have taken her off the team if I didn't think she could deal with the jerk with my support or if things had become worse.
Thanks!
Lisa
Feb 13, 2010 Rating
MHO by: Anonymous
Alright, this is a situation that I've seen occur myself.
The best way to handle this is approach your commissioner or the board of directors. Go over the coach's head, have other parents to support you if possible. Talking to this guy isn't going to do a damn bit of good, honestly.
That being said, I'd personally be inclined to stick it out. I've been through my fair share of bad coaches and my fair share of great ones, however, I'm much much older that your daughter. I know that I'm not going to let one person ruin the game for me. At this age, the coaches can really make it or break it for the kids. I've helped with the younger girls in my area before and I know that you have to talk to them in a ton of voice that is appropriate for my age. When I hit the field with the 10U team, I can't explain things the same way that my Varsity coach does and I can't expect them to know anything.
We don't have an 8U. You have to expect those girls to know NOTHING and explain to them EVERYTHING in language they will understand. That's something I'm still working on, being as I'm an English nut, but the girls know to stop me and to have me explain it again.
I hope that you can take some sort of action about this, because I'd hate to see them ruin softball for a group of little girls.
Dec 08, 2009 Rating
SWITCH TEAMS!!!!! by: Lulu
If I were you then I would switch teams because everyone will make mistakes once in their life. Amd let the younger age girls engoy it while they can because once you hit 10u it is totally different!!!!!!I would not let my daughter go through that every weekend!!!!!
Lulu
Aug 25, 2009 Rating
sad story by: Coach Alan
This is indeed a sad story that, unfortunately, I have seen repeated many times. You basically have two options here. Approach your league BOD with other parents and voice your concerns. If the BOA is doesn't have the guts to remove this guy as coach, or if the other parents don't have the guts to stand with you, then get your daughter off that team...not at the end of the season but NOW!! Normally, I am an advocate of sticking with season committments but there are certain limits and this is one of them. There is absolutely no place for that type of behavior at any level...let alone in 8U. The really bad thing with these situations is that girls, who are quite good players with a lot of potential and ability to learn, never return to the game because of of a coach! DO NOT let this happen to your daughter! Best of luck - Coach Alan
Jul 24, 2009 Rating
Coaching Style by: Coach Tim
I have coached at every level of little league for boys and girls fastpitch. Berating a player NEVER works at any level. While you might get some immediate results, it will destroy your team in the long term. One thing all coaches must keep in mind is that you must coach boys and girls differently. Boys tend to focus on the end result such as how they did individually or how the team did as a whole. Girls are all about how the feel. If they lost but feel good about how they played--then it is a postiive experience for them. Boys are all about the end result. My three goals as a coach have always been 1) Teach the kids how to play the game 2) Teach sportsmanship on and off the field and 3) Have fun! My ultimate goal is to give the kids a love of the game and have all of them return for another season:)
Jul 13, 2009 Rating
JUST LISTEN by: Larri
I may not be smart but my dad is a coach and one thing that makes him good is he listens to our opion and then NICLEY corrects our mistakes
Jun 26, 2009 Rating
same idea but with a soccer coach by: Anonymous
We're going through similar problems with our girls soccer coach,, she punishes the girls if they are late by making them run laps before games and practices,, we have complained and it seems right now that the league is doing nothing to help.. this is a recreational league where the girls are supposed to be learning skills and having fun,, but they are doing niether.. I dont know what you should do. because we've complained and its reached closed ears....
Jun 25, 2009 Rating
What to do by: Steve
My daughter has been playing for years, and a coach tried to pick her up that berates the kids, my response was no! You have spent a lot of energy detailing the events happening on your daughters team, and might I add, in great detail. It seems to me like you really know what to do, but are hesitant to do it. Your daughter needs to experience the greatest game out there in a manner that generates a desire to continue on. GET HER OFF THAT TEAM and on one that is led b a good coach! Do what you ALREADY know your gut is telling you! Good luck!
Jun 22, 2009 Rating
find a new team by: Anonymous
that fact is that most parents have known idea how to coach sports. i would say that 90% of coaches are clue less, believe me i have seen it all. in fact i was one of those clue less parents, looking back i thought i knew what i was doing, even those i was the best softball coach it the league i was still terrible. it took me about 5yrs of research and watching my daughter reacieve private lessons to understand what it real takes to be a coach.
i would tell your daughter that coaches shouldn't act that way and when the seasons is all over go to the board with your complaints and make them put your daughter on another team for next year. look around find out who the best coach is and demand that she is on his team. honestly they probably are all terrible but at least you can find someone who treats the kid wright.
Jun 19, 2009 Rating
What to Do by: Anonymous
My advice to you is really very simple. I agree with your concerns but unfortunately when it comes down to it you are the one that must change things not your coach. If you discuss your concerns with some of the other parents, the word will quickly get out that you are "THE" parent that is the problem on the team. What I mean is that you need to find another team for your daughter to play on before she losses interest in the game. Just quietly leave and find another team for the following year for her to play on. Girls adapt well to change very well especially at younger ages. They make friends quickly in any atmosphere. Find her another team to play on and move on.
Jun 15, 2009 Rating
Change Teams by: Rhonda S
First of all I commend you and your daughter for sticking with it. Secondly--what ever league she is in--there are officials--ask the umpires who is in charge of the coaches and get a name, number email whatever. Explain to them just like you did here what is going on and how they treat the girls. Tell them to come to the games to see for themselves. Also--there should be a league official (not only the umpires) on the grounds somewhere--ask around--trust me you never know who will tell you where they are but you will find an official or VP or commissioner or someone--on the grounds. Last, Good luck with your daughter--you did in right in explaining to her that they are not bad--however if they need more practice--and if you or other parents are available and want to help coach--by all means sign up--you will have a blast!
Jun 15, 2009 Rating
GET HIM OUT!!!! by: Anna
Well, first of all, your daughter is in the 8u league??? He shouldn't even be able to yell at them like that!
Second of all, i believe that you and the oter parents should get together and figure out a way to get him kicked out of the league. Even if it means that one of you has to become coach. That what happened with me. My old coach was so mean that even if we won, he would give us a lecture abut how terrible we were and made us feel so bad about ourselves. So my father got together with all the ther parents and they got the coach out. Now my dad is my coach and has been for four years. I may only be 12, but I've probably gone through everything plus some of what your daughter has and will go through.
Trust me on this, you have to get him out of there before he crushes everybodys spirits and they never play again.
Hope I helped.
Jun 13, 2009 Rating
Time for him to go by: Coach Buck
It sounds like this Coach's behavior is suspect at any level...find a way to get rid of him.
At the 8u level, it should be all about teaching fundamentals, and showing the girls how to have fun with this great game...not how to win...not now anyway. We don't even keep score in our county 8u program.
My question? How many good future softball players have been discouraged, and will never play the game again.
My advice: Find a way to get rid of him, and be ready to step up and volunteer your own time to take over and do it right. It's easy to complain,as right as you are, but unless you are willing to contribute to make things better, complaining will get you nothing. Hey, you have your daughter to think about and all those other beautiful little girls to think about.
Make a difference in their lives. I believe in you. Git R Done Coach!!
